Children who are of 10 to 12 years of age and who have not entered the teenage, their parents complain that secretly they watch adult sites and programmes on computer. We have caught them red handed. What to do? We are highly worried. We don’t cold them and we don’t have courage to talk to them regarding this.
Why did this happen? Let’s try and understand. If a child is hungry and hasn’t eaten for a day, he is alone and in his house there is an open dish of chocolates and is asked not to have the chocolates, then also the child will have the chocolate. In today’s time it is not possible that the kids do not watch such movies or films when they are growing. They come across such films very frequently when they on the way of adulthood. Its not the possible that they do not see such things at all and become 20 years old. It is not possible in today’s time. You have to be cautious that they see these things at a proper age. But what is the proper age? According to me, the proper age is 16 years it will be good if the child does not see such movies. Or the family should take care and be cautious that the child comes across such things after 12 years or more. They should try to set such atmosphere. Let’s see what should be done for this.
Generally, this happens when the child is alone in the house or if he and his any cousin with whom he is very close are alone in the house, then they become inquisitive and for being bold see such programmes. Generally they think that they will see these programmes for the first and last time. When they are seven years old, their schedule should be set in such a way they do not get ample free time and they get engaged in sports, music, drawing etc. changes should be made pertaining to child’s free time and studies. When he is alone he should be busy in some or the other activity. When any adult is around, he should be allowed is around, he should be allowed to open computer and internet for school homework or for deriving some information. Parents should nurture the habit of reading rather than playing games on the computer. When his cousin or friends come home, any of the parents or elderly person must be present. They should make arrangements that they play around with smart phones, laptop and tablet but without internet. If the child loves sports and is pursuing any sport then his mind will be constantly thinking that how shall I enhance my performance and get better. And even if he sees any adult programmes then also he will admit that thing in front of his parents and again will get back to his sports and how to make it better.
The child who lives alone in the home and does not have any interest in any of the sport will take up a chance to see such adult sites and in future will also try to find ways to see them again. If fifteen year old child is caught watching such sites then parents should explain very politely that the effect of watching such sites will be bad on his mind and it might happen that he may have to face some problems in future. It is not a good decision to take out internet or to keep an eye on him. Let things remain as it as and keep a positive attitude with the child. Then the child will feel that my parents have faith in me, which I should not break and I should try that their dreams get fulfilled. After such incidents some parents try to boost the self-confidence and morale and try to make their relations with the child will become strong. A new warmth can be seen in their relations. After such an incident, never hit the child, scold him or punish him by throwing him out of the house. This is not the solution of the problem. This behavior shows that parents are immature and cannot handle the child in better manner.
[ DIVYA BHASKAR 01/03/2015]